You will need:

• 1 lb. ground beef (80-90% lean)
• 1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
• 2 tsp. Old Bay seasoning
• 3 cloves minced garlic (use less or omit if desired)

Here’s how to do it:

1. In a bowl, mix ingredients together. Be careful not to handle the meat too much.
2. Shape into 3 patties. You might be able to get 4 patties per pound of beef, but they’ll end up on the small side.
3. Grill on high heat for about 5 minutes per side. I say about because all grills are different. Tip: oil up your grill with some cooking spray before lighting to prevent the burgers from sticking.
4. Drop a piece of cheese on each burger for the last 30 seconds of cooking. Either colby-jack or cheddar works well.
5. Serve on a toasted bun with condiments (bacon and BBQ sauce, anyone?).

So there you have it: my world-famous burger recipe (depending on your definition of world). Final note: I’ve seen some recipes that call for eggs and breadcrumbs, but in my opinion, that will give you grilled meatloaf rather than a hamburger. Stick with my recipe if you want to please a crowd.

If you want the rainbow, you have to tolerate the rain.

My favorite Chinese restaurant in Tucson just keeps delivering the hits in the fortune department.

Well, why not? Admit it—you’re intrigued.

Touché, fortune cookie. Touché.

On our last day in Nogales, right before we left, we found a Coke distributor who was willing to sell us cases of the good stuff. And cases are exactly what we bought. I picked up 24 bottles (500-mL each, which is about 17 oz) for roughly $24, which seems like a pretty good deal in retrospect. Vince bought his own assorted case with half Coke and half Fanta, Manzana Lift, Squirt, and Sprite.

At the time, the joy that only cane sugar can provide was clouding our thinking, and we failed to remember that the trunk was already packed with sleeping bags and everyone’s stuff. No worries, though. After 30 minutes of unpacking and shuffling bags around, we finally decided to remove the bottles from their crates and cram them into every spare crevice the trunk had to offer. With all 48 bottles tucked in and nestled snugly, we took off for the border.

Other than a 2-hour wait, we didn’t encounter any problems while crossing back into the States. To my surprise, smuggling a load of Coke into the U.S. from Mexico was much easier than I had previously imagined.

He brought us an extra menu when we were short one, extra dipping sauce when we asked for it, and even an extra margarita glass—with the margarita shaker topped off—so that a couple people could share. Most importantly, Lee made us laugh, and I think that’s crucial for people who are in customer service. Anyone can write down orders and carry out plates of food, but not everyone can go above and beyond to make customers happy and keep them coming back.

I left Lee a 25% tip, and I usually only leave 15% if the service is decent. Keep up the good work, my man.

Someone at work ordered a couple cases of Dublin Dr Pepper (there’s intentionally no period after “Dr”), and so I tried a bottle—yes, bottle!—of it today. If you’ve never had this stuff before, you’re missing out on the true essence of Dr Pepper. Oh, and cane sugar, too. Lots and lots of pure cane sugar.

According to the website, this is why Dublin Dr Pepper is better than the lame Dr Pepper you can buy in stores:

Dublin Dr Pepper is still made using the original sweetener, pure cane sugar. In the 1970s the price of sugar rose and soft drink companies started panicking because it was getting too expensive to produce their drinks using sugar. Virtually everyone switched to high fructose corn syrup because it was much less expensive.

The decision was made at that time to keep using the pure cane sugar, regardless of the extra expense. The Dublin Dr Pepper Bottling Company is the only Dr Pepper bottler that has always used pure cane sugar to sweeten the drink.

Run, don’t walk, to the online store, where you can buy the original mojo in cans or bottles. Shipping will nearly double the cost of the order, but it’s a small price to pay for the most amazing liquid substance known to man.