Scrumptious Word Morsels

I knew the cost of motorcycling when I got into this whole mess, but I never knew the toll it would take on the innocent ones. On my way home tonight, a rather large and juicy bug had the misfortune of being put down by my enormous noggin. It was the first time I’ve ever killed anything with my head. If it’s any consolation, the little guy’s last efforts were not in vain: he scared the crap out of me when he hit my shield and exploded all over the plastic.

Make note of this for future reference: motorcycles have neither seat belts nor windshield wipers.

Sorry for the camera reflection in the photo. Even without a flash, it’s hard to take pictures of really shiny objects without becoming part of the picture yourself.

One of these days, somebody is going to hit me with their* car. And my biggest fear isn’t that I’m going to get hit or even that I’m going to die. My biggest fear is that nobody will be there to scrape me off the pavement, and thus, I won’t even get a proper funeral out of the deal.

In case you were wondering, I’m hardly referring to specific situations anymore. Walking through crosswalks in Tucson on a daily basis should be enough to encourage most people to get their affairs in order. But now that I think of it, there was a girl yesterday who almost hit me because she failed to look both ways before turning out of a parking garage. (I was crossing Park Ave.—in a crosswalk—just north of Speedway).

* Yes, yes. I know it’s not technically correct to say their in place of his/her, but it’s in common use and so much less awkward.

Tucson drivers:

I’ll cut straight to the chase here.

Would it be too much trouble for you to look over at the crosswalk before you start turning right on a green? I almost got run over twice today because you were too busy talking on your cell phones and listening to your music. If you and your boyfriend are having an argument and you need to respond to his text message right away, pull into a parking lot and have at it.

If you’re doing anything other than devoting your full attention to driving while the car is moving, you shouldn’t be on the road. And even if you’re not doing something distracting, at least glance over at the crosswalk before you turn to make sure there aren’t any people in it. And for the love of O.J. Simpson memorabilia, if there are people in the crosswalk, don’t just shrug your shoulders, smile nervously, and keep turning.

Sweet goodness, you people scare the crap out of me.

Update: I might turn this into a weekly feature and call it my civil service to Tusconans. Stay tuned.